These wedding planning tips come from 29 years of standing at the altar with real couples across Ventura County, Santa Barbara, and Malibu. I am Dean Merrill and I have had the privilege of officiating more than 1,000 weddings since 1996 — from simple backyard ceremonies that cost almost nothing to extravagant celebrations where no expense was spared. During that time I have made incredible memories and more than a few interesting observations. These 101 wedding planning tips are the most honest and practical advice I can offer as you plan your big day.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Timing and Seasons

1. January through December are all fantastic months to get married in Southern California.
2. Winter weddings — November through February — are becoming increasingly popular in Ventura County and Santa Barbara because we simply do not have harsh winters here anymore.
3. Wedding venues tend to offer better pricing in winter months. Getting married in late fall or early winter can be a genuinely smart financial decision.
4. The best vendors in Southern California are typically booked six months to a year in advance. Do not delay.
5. Starting your ceremony 15 minutes late is acceptable. 30 minutes is rude to guests who made the effort to arrive on time.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Your Guest List

6. The average wedding I officiate has around 100 guests.
7. 20 years ago the average wedding had around 150 guests. Smaller and more intimate is a growing trend.
8. If an invitee does not RSVP on time — call them. Do not text or email. Pick up the phone.
9. It is completely acceptable to make it clear on your invitation that your wedding is adults only.
10. Blended families should all make a genuine effort to get along on your wedding day. This is not the day for old grievances.
11. A dad thinks about his daughter’s wedding day for about 25 years before it actually happens. Tell him you love him.
12. It is hard for a mom not to cry when she sees her child in a wedding dress. Tell her you love her.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Choosing Your Vendors

13. Do not try to nickel and dime a vendor who has a great reputation. You get what you pay for.
14. Experienced vendors with excellent reviews are worth every dollar. Great vendors cannot afford to have a bad day — that is what sets them apart.
15. A professional vendor will follow up promptly. If they are slow to respond before you book them they will be slow to respond after.
16. Ask every vendor and venue — are there any additional costs we might incur? Always ask this question before signing anything.
17. Tipping your vendors is not required but is very much appreciated.
18. Hiring a wedding coordinator may stretch the budget but it is money extremely well spent.
19. Your good friend is usually not the best choice for a DJ. Hire a professional.
20. A professional DJ makes the difference between a good reception and a truly great one.
21. Make sure you have excellent sound for your ceremony. A wireless handheld microphone is ideal for the officiant.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Choosing Your Officiant

22. Do not hire an officiant who uses a generic script. That is lazy and it shows.
23. Hire an officiant who is real, authentic, engaging, calm, and encouraging.
24. A good officiant makes a sincere effort to get to know the bride and groom personally before writing a single word of the ceremony.
25. A great ceremony is a direct reflection of the personalities of the couple — not a template the officiant has used a hundred times before.
26. An experienced officiant will move out of the shot during the first kiss without being told.
27. Your officiant does not need to be present at the rehearsal. They are the first to walk up and the last to leave on the wedding day.
28. Asking mom and dad to walk the groom down the aisle is one of the most heartwarming things I have seen in 29 years of officiating.
29. Bilingual officiants are increasingly in demand across Ventura County and Santa Barbara.
30. If you want to learn more about what a great officiant offers — visit my packages page.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Your Ceremony

31. Your wedding ceremony does not have to be long and boring. It can be fun, meaningful, and genuinely engaging.
32. If you cannot plan a ceremony that is 25 minutes or less — go back and try again. Shorter is almost always better.
33. Appropriate humor makes for a great ceremony. Do not be afraid of laughter.
34. A reading during the ceremony should not last more than one to two minutes.
35. Couples are increasingly writing their own vows — and it is one of the most powerful things they can do.
36. Include children from blended families in the ceremony. It is one of the most meaningful moments you can create.
37. The Best Man usually holds the rings during the ceremony.
38. Unity sand is not as popular as it used to be.
39. Unity candles at an outdoor wedding are a bad idea. Wind will take care of that quickly.
40. 95 percent of all weddings I officiate in Southern California are outdoors. Plan accordingly.
41. Be present during your ceremony. It only lasts 20 to 25 minutes. Do not let your mind wander.
42. If things do not go perfectly — who cares? Perfection should not be expected. But excellence from your team is absolutely required.

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Wedding Planning Tips — The Bridal Party

43. There is no rule requiring an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Do what feels right for your relationship.
44. The biggest bridal party I have ever seen was 12 on each side.
45. Bridesmaids genuinely appreciate buying a dress they can actually wear more than once.
46. If the forecast calls for heat — handkerchiefs for the bridal party are a thoughtful touch.
47. Fashionable sandals for bridesmaids during summer ceremonies are completely appropriate and kind to their feet.
48. Wear comfortable shoes. It is best to feel good AND look good. You will be on your feet for nearly five hours once the wedding begins.
49. Bow ties are in. Tux and tails — rarely seen anymore.
50. The most popular suit color for the groom right now is blue. Brown shoes are the pairing of choice.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Venues and Budgets

51. Make sure you check out private estates and large homes as a possibility for your wedding venue. Some of the best weddings I have officiated in Ventura County were in beautiful backyards.
52. Venues built specifically to hold weddings are extremely popular in Santa Barbara and the surrounding area. Book well in advance.
53. If you choose a venue where you can buy your own bar and hire a bartender — you will save a significant amount of money.
54. Backyard weddings are a great idea. They are also a lot of work. If you choose one — hire a wedding coordinator.
55. When spending money for the wedding step back and ask — what is the wisest decision we can make? Budget with your head not your emotions.
56. There are no rules for your wedding. Do whatever feels right for you as a couple. It is your day.
57. Most couples I marry are paying for the wedding themselves. Being financially responsible is something to be proud of.
58. A growing trend I love — serving a simple cocktail menu prior to the ceremony. Reward guests who arrive on time.
59. Tell your caterer you would like drinks and appetizers served during post-ceremony photos. You will not regret it.
60. According to The Knot, the average cost of a wedding continues to rise each year. Build a realistic budget and stick to it.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Photography

61. 20 years ago there was typically one photographer at a wedding. Today there are almost always at least two.
62. Take as many photos as possible before the wedding. Allow one hour for photos after the ceremony — maximum.
63. A really good photographer always has a shot list prepared in advance.
64. Get off your feet for at least 30 minutes before the ceremony. You will thank yourself later.
65. According to Brides magazine, the most common wedding photography regret is not allowing enough time for portraits. Build that time into your schedule.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Food and Bar

66. Cash for a wedding gift is very much in. It is completely appropriate to ask for it.
67. Extensive gift registries are not as popular as they used to be.
68. Cupcakes as the wedding cake are a great idea — economical, delicious, and easy to serve.
69. Taco trucks are in. BBQ is in. The best wedding food is food the couple actually loves to eat.
70. Two bartenders are always better than one.
71. If you choose to have a bar — be generous and host it for your guests.
72. Have a glass or two — but do not drink too much before the ceremony. Stay sharp for the most important moment of the day.
73. If you are aware of a guest who has had too much — quietly ask your coordinator or bartender to cut them off. It is the most loving thing you can do.
74. Cigar rollers during the reception are becoming increasingly popular and are always a conversation starter.
75. Stay hydrated throughout the entire day. It sounds simple — but almost nobody does it.

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Wedding Planning Tips — Marriage Licenses

76. In California you must apply for your marriage license in the county where your ceremony will take place. Do not wait until the last minute.
77. On your wedding day — do not forget to bring your marriage license. This is non-negotiable.
78. You do not automatically receive a copy of your marriage license after your wedding. You must request and pay for a certified copy separately.
79. The rings go on the left hand.
80. Most brides leave their engagement ring on during the ceremony. There is no rule requiring you to remove it.
81. Gold wedding bands for him are largely out. Platinum and darker colored bands are the current preference.

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Wedding Planning Tips — On Your Wedding Day

82. Surround yourself with positive people in the hours leading up to the ceremony. Avoid negative energy at all costs.
83. Appoint a YES FACE — a positive, can-do, no-drama person who will handle any small issue that comes up on your wedding day with a smile. This person is invaluable.
84. Your wedding day is a long time in planning — but the actual day goes by in a blur. Be intentional about being present for every moment.
85. The bride is usually nervous in the days leading up to the wedding. The groom is usually nervous on the actual day. Both are completely normal.
86. Do not make hasty decisions during the planning process. Step back. Breathe. Think clearly.
87. Couples getting married in their 50s and 60s bring a depth of gratitude to the ceremony that is genuinely moving to witness.
88. Couples in their 20s getting married are increasingly less common. Most couples I marry in Ventura County and Santa Barbara are settled in their careers and have been together for years.
89. I am consistently amazed at how many couples knew each other in middle or high school and found their way back to each other.
90. I am equally amazed at how many two-year-old flower girls and ring bearers actually make it down the aisle. Anything can happen — embrace it.
91. In the end it always works out. I have officiated over 1,000 weddings and I have never left one thinking it was a disaster. It always comes together beautifully.

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Final Wedding Planning Tips — From the Heart

92. Your wedding ceremony does not have to cost a fortune to be deeply meaningful. The best ceremonies I have officiated were not the most expensive ones.
93. A veil covering the face of the bride is largely out. But wear whatever makes you feel most like yourself.
94. There is no rule that you must follow any tradition you do not connect with. This is your wedding.
95. If perfection is not required — and it never is — but excellence from everyone on your team absolutely is. My personal standard: if we plan well it always ends well.
96. Surround yourself with vendors who genuinely care about your day — not just their paycheck. You will feel the difference immediately.
97. Give away his daughter with full intention. It is one of the biggest moments of a father’s life. Honor it.
98. The most popular wedding planning tip I can offer after 29 years is this — hire vendors who have done this hundreds of times and trust them to do their job.
99. Every well-regarded vendor in the wedding world is keenly aware they cannot have a bad day. That standard is what sets the best apart from the rest.
100. When it comes to love — when you find the one, do not get restless and go looking for another. What you have is rare.
101. Keep the vows you make on your wedding day as precious and trustworthy as the day you made them. This world needs examples of couples who make it for a lifetime.

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Looking for More Wedding Planning Tips? Start With Your Officiant.

One of the best wedding planning tips I can give any couple is this — book your officiant early. It is one of the most important vendor decisions you will make and the right officiant sets the tone for your entire ceremony.

I have been officiating weddings in Ventura County, Santa Barbara, Malibu, and across Southern California for 29 years. I write every ceremony from scratch around your story. No templates. No scripts used a hundred times before. Just your ceremony — built specifically for you.

Visit my packages page to learn about what I offer, or reach out directly here. I would be honored to be part of your day.

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About Dean Merrill — Wedding Officiant

Dean Merrill brings 29 years of experience as a wedding officiant serving Ventura County, Santa Barbara, Malibu, and surrounding communities across Southern California. His personal and creative approach to every ceremony comes from a unique combination of pastoral background, published authorship, and over 1,000 weddings performed. He writes every ceremony from scratch — because no two couples are the same.

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