Hey! It’s Dean! I really appreciate you coming to my blog posts. I have had the pleasure of performing weddings since 1996. Over the years I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting and marrying couples from every walk of life. I have been present at simple weddings that cost little to nothing, to extravagant celebrations where no expense was spared. During that time I have made many incredible memories and made more than a “few” interesting observations. In this post, I wanted to share thoughts based upon two decades of experience that I hope will be helpful nuggets of wisdom as you plan for your Big Day.
- January thru December are fantastic months to get married.
- Winter months, November – February weddings are becoming increasingly popular. Why? We don’t have winters in CA anymore.
- 95% of all weddings I officiate are outdoors.
- The average wedding has around 100 guests.
- 2o years ago, an average wedding had around 150 guests.
- If an invitee does not RSVP on time, call them.
- It’s okay to make it clear on your invitation that your wedding is for adults ONLY.
- Most couples I marry have been together more than four years.
- I am amazed at how many couples knew each other in middle or high school.
- The bride is nervous in the days leading up to the wedding.
- The groom is nervous the day of the wedding.
- Weddings cost money and planning one is an emotional process. Expect cheers and tears.
- During the planning stage, don’t make hasty decisions.
- When spending money for the wedding, step back and ask, “What is the wisest decision we can make?”
- There are no rules for YOUR wedding. Do whatever you want. It is YOUR wedding.
- Most brides tell me they tried on four dresses or less before they found the perfect ONE.
- Bridesmaids appreciate buying a dress they can wear more than once.
- If the forecast calls for heat, hankerchiefs for the bridal party come in handy.
- Stay hydrated.
- I am amazed at how many two year-old Flower girls and Rings Bearers make it down the aisle.
- There is no rule that you must have an EVEN number of bridesmaids and groomsmen in your bridal party.
- Couples getting married in their 20s are increasingly infrequent.
- Couples I marry are typically settled in their careers and have a dog.
- Couples who get married in their 50s and 60s are so thankful.
- Get off your feet for a half an hour just prior to the ceremony.
- You’ll be on your feet for almost five hours once the wedding begins.
- Ask a “YES” (positive) person to be close to you on your wedding day to take care of the little things.
- Starting your ceremony 15 minutes late is acceptable. 30 minutes is rude.
- A reading during the ceremony should not last more than a minute or two.
- If things don’t go perfectly, who cares? Perfection should not be expected. But excellence from your team is required.
- Your wedding ceremony does not have to be long and boring. It can be fun, meaningful and engaging.
- Don’t hire an officiant who uses scripts. That’s lazy.
- A wireless handheld microphone is ideal for the officiant.
- Hire an officiant who is real, authentic, engaging, calm, and encouraging.
- An experienced officiant will move out of the shot during the kiss.
- Asking mom and dad to walk the groom down the aisle is heartwarming.
- The biggest bridal party I have ever seen were 12 on each side.
- Wanted: bilingual officiants.
- A good officiant will make a sincere effort to get to know the bride and groom so he or she can personalize the ceremony.
- A great ceremony should be a direct reflection of the personalities of the bride and groom.
- If you can’t plan a ceremony that is 25 minutes or less, go back and try again.
- Appropriate humor makes for great ceremony.
- Couples are writing their own vows.
- An officiant does not need to be present at the rehearsal. Why? He or she is first to walk up and last to leave.
- A vail covering the face of the bride is out.
- Include the children in a blended family ceremony.
- The Best Man usually holds the rings during the wedding.
- Growing trend is to serve a simple cocktail menu prior to the ceremony.
- Tell the caterer you would like to be served drinks and appetizers during post-ceremony photos.
- Make sure you check out private estates or large homes as a possibility for your wedding venue.
- Venues that have been built specifically to hold weddings are extremely popular. Book well in advance.
- If you choose a venue where you can buy your own bar and hire a bartender, you will save a lot of money.
- Hiring a Wedding Coordinator may stretch the budget, but it is money well spent
- Backyard weddings are a great idea.
- Backyard weddings are a lot of work.
- If you have a backyard wedding, think about hiring a Wedding Coordinator.
- Don’t try to nickel and dime a vendor who has a great reputation.
- Experienced vendors with great reviews are worth the money. You get what you pay for.
- A professional vendor will follow up expediently.
- The best vendors are usually booked six months in advance. Don’t delay.
- Every well-regarded vendor who works in the wedding world is keenly aware they cannot have a bad day. That’s what sets them apart.
- Tipping your vendors in not required but very much appreciated.
- Ask every vendor and venue, “Are their any additional costs we might incur?”
- 20 years ago there was one photographer shooting the wedding – today there are at least two.
- Take as many photos as possible before the wedding. Allow one hour for photos after the wedding – MAX.
- A really good photographer has a shot sheet.
- Cash for a wedding gift is in. Ask for it.
- Extensive gift registries are not as popular as they used to be.
- You do not have to apply for a wedding license in the county in which you are getting married.
- On your wedding day, don’t forget to bring your wedding license.
- You do not automatically receive a copy of your wedding license after your wedding. You must pay for one.
- The rings go on the left hand.
- Gold wedding bands for him are out.
- Platinum or darker colored weddings bands for him are in.
- Most brides leave their engagement ring on during the ceremony.
- The most popular suit color for him is blue. His shoes are brown.
- Bow Ties are in.
- Something I rarely see: Tux and tails.
- Wear comfortable shoes. It is best to feel AND look good.
- Fashionable sandals for bridesmaids during the summer are in.
- Unity sand is not as popular as it used to be.
- Unity candles at an outdoor wedding are bad idea.
- Make sure you have great sound for your ceremony.
- A Professional DJ makes the difference between a good reception and a great reception.
- Your good friend is usually not the best choice for a DJ.
- Cigar rollers during the reception are becoming increasingly popular.
- Cupcakes as the wedding cake are a great idea, economical, and delicious.
- Seared ahi tuna is my favorite appetizer.
- Mini Meatballs are timeless.
- Taco trucks are in.
- BBQ is in.
- Have a glass or two . . . but don’t drink too much before the ceremony.
- Two bartenders are better then one.
- If you choose to have a bar, be generous and host it.
- Blended families should all “make nice” on your wedding day.
- A dad thinks about his daughter’s wedding day about 25 years before she actually gets married.
- Giving away his daughter is a really big deal for dad. Tell him you love him.
- It’s hard for a mom not to cry when she sees her “baby” in her wedding dress. Tell her you love her.
- Your wedding day is a long time in planning, but the BIG day goes by like a blur.
- When it comes to love . . . When you find the One, don’t get restless and go looking for another ONE.
- Keep the vows you make on your wedding day as precious and trustworthy. This world needs to see examples of couples who make it for a lifetime.

About Dean
Dean Merrill brings 22 years of experience as a wedding officiant in Southern California. His creative and professional approach to performing weddings comes from a unique blending of talents he utilizes in every ceremony in which he officiates. He is currently the preferred wedding officiant for Southern California’s #1 rated wedding coordinator, Bella Vita Events.