This wedding officiant interview features Dean Merrill — a Southern California wedding officiant with 29 years and over 1,000 ceremonies across Ventura County, Santa Barbara, and Malibu. Bride Days sat down with Dean to get the practical advice that only comes from a lifetime of standing at the altar with real couples.

A Wedding Officiant Interview 29 Years in the Making

What made you decide to become a wedding officiant?

It was around 1996. I was the pastor of a large singles group — young people in their 20s and 30s — and over time, a lot of relationships developed. So I started getting asked to perform their weddings. I knew these couples. I knew their personalities, their senses of humor, and how they met. Around 2000 I was no longer a pastor, but I kept going — because I felt called to serve my community.

How did you build a name outside that original group?

It started simply. I hired someone to build a small website and put myself out there as someone who takes a creative approach to weddings. For couples who weren’t getting married in a church, I was a great fit. A lot of people don’t have any religious affiliation — and when it comes time to get married, they don’t know what to do. Far too many feel their only option is a courthouse. I think that’s tragic. On one of the best days of their lives, they deserve something meaningful. The phone started ringing because nobody was advertising themselves as an independent wedding officiant. I caught the wave of something just starting. Thankfully, it’s been busy ever since.

The One Trend That Changed Everything

What are some of the biggest changes you’ve seen over the years?

If there’s one thing that changed the most, it’s the outdoor wedding venue. Couples now have a genuine one-stop shop — ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception dinner all at one location. Some of these venues in Southern California are absolutely stunning. Wine country themes, tropical settings, hillside estates. It’s been a massive shift from the old hotel ballroom with partitions. I’ve seen some truly incredible venues, and couples in Ventura County and Santa Barbara are making the most of what this region has to offer.

So you mostly work at larger venues?

Not at all. I probably do as many small weddings as large ones. When a couple tells me they’re on a budget, I ask: does anyone in your life have a great backyard? You’d be amazed how beautiful a well-done backyard wedding can be. I’ve seen family-cooked meals that were more memorable than any catered event. Being practical — not emotional — about your budget is one of the best pieces of advice I give in any wedding officiant interview. Take a look at my wedding ceremony packages if you’re planning ahead.

Any other trends worth mentioning?

Year-round weddings are now the standard. It used to be May through October only. But here in California, we’ve had a whole generation of couples who’ve never even seen it rain. Winter weddings have become incredibly popular — and venues often discount in the off-season. If you want to stretch your budget and still get something beautiful, late fall or winter in Southern California is a smart move.

The Best Advice I Give Every Couple

You’ve officiated over 1,000 weddings. What wisdom would you give brides and grooms?

The first thing I’d say is: in the end, it always works out. I know there are a thousand details, but I’ve never left a wedding thinking it was a disaster. It always comes together — because couples don’t fully understand the massive support system they have on their wedding day. Photographers, coordinators, DJs, officiants, family, friends — everyone on that team wants the day to go beautifully. So step back, take a breath, and trust the process.

According to The Knot’s wedding planning research, one of the top stressors couples report is feeling like they have to manage everything themselves. You don’t. That’s what your vendor team is for. It’s a point I come back to in every wedding officiant interview I do — couples always have more help than they realize.

Is helping couples manage stress part of the job?

Absolutely. One year turns into six months, which becomes two months, then a week, then a day — it moves fast. What’s interesting is that during planning, the bride is usually the one with the most nerves. But on the actual wedding day? The bride is the happiest, most at-peace person there. It’s the grooms who fall apart. I think it’s because she’s been picturing this moment since she was a little girl. He’s been pushing his feelings aside — and then all of a sudden, it hits him. But she’s ready.

What I Tell Every Bride and Groom on the Morning of Their Wedding

Any practical advice for the day itself?

Surround yourself with positive people in the hours leading up to the ceremony. Avoid negative energy at all costs. I always encourage couples to appoint someone with what I call a YES face — a positive, can-do friend or family member who handles any minor issue with a smile and a “no problem, I’ve got it.” That one person can completely change the energy of a wedding morning. Of all the things I share in a wedding officiant interview, this is the tip that surprises people the most.

What should couples avoid?

Be present during the ceremony. It only lasts 20 to 25 minutes and then it’s over — forever. I’ve performed over 1,000 ceremonies and the couples who are truly present look back and say it was the best moment of their lives. The ceremony is the exhale after all the planning. Don’t miss it.

My favorite line that I tell every couple: “If we plan well, it always ends well.” The fear of the unknown causes most of the stress. But my job is to remind them — I can see the finish line even when they can’t. It’s going to be great.

Ready to Start the Conversation?

If you’re still in the early stages, my post on how to elope in Santa Barbara has practical steps from the marriage license to picking the right location. Looking for a Ventura wedding officiant or a Malibu wedding officiant? I’d love to connect.

Every ceremony I perform starts with a real conversation — my own version of a wedding officiant interview, where I get to know you and your story before writing a completely custom ceremony. Call or text (805) 300-4955 or contact me here.